Why is it that I spend so much time wishing that I felt nothing, when being able to feel is the entire point of being human?
Watashi wa happīendo no tame dake suu to omou yo.
He put her there,
up on that lofty pedestal.
“She belongs to myth’s and fairy tales“
He kept telling himself.
Meanwhile, all alone up there
she sat convinced that he had left her on the shelf.
Hurling her shoes at him to get some attention,
curled up with the clouds
desperate for affection.
She didn’t want to be worshipped,
or be a deity of his pride.
It’s a sad little tale,
of a love that will only ever fail.
For he adored her,
and she mistook it for loathing.
“Slowly, my feelings started to shrivel up. The few that managed to survive the constant beatings staggered around like wounded baby deer, just biding their time until they could die and join all the other carcasses strewn across the wasteland of my soul.
I couldn’t even muster up the enthusiasm to hate myself anymore.”
Is it normal to have to actively try to feel good about oneself?
